How would cheer someone up when one of there parents died of cancer?
Tina asked:
When I was 8 years old my mother passed away of ****** cancer. I was to young at the time to actually understand what death was. In time I started to become very scared of everything. Now one of my close friends mother just passed away and I don’t know whether to talk to him and comfort him or just leave it alone. He is taking it really hard. He is a 16 year old that understands everything about death. Should I just tell him that I know what he is going through and try to connect to him
When I was 8 years old my mother passed away of ****** cancer. I was to young at the time to actually understand what death was. In time I started to become very scared of everything. Now one of my close friends mother just passed away and I don’t know whether to talk to him and comfort him or just leave it alone. He is taking it really hard. He is a 16 year old that understands everything about death. Should I just tell him that I know what he is going through and try to connect to him
Tags: 8 Years, Breast Cancer, Cheer, Close Friends, Parents
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
cancer help
take him out for a smoothie or something and LISTEN TO HIM
September 24th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Yes. It might do you both good to talk about this with each other as you can understand what he is going through. Do this though only if you are prepared yourself to reopen some old wounds . . but it would be good for you to at least offer this for him. I don’t think ‘cheering up’ is the right idea though . . he is going to feel rotten and there is nothing wrong with that . . he just needs to be able to feel . . with grief . . there is no way around it . .you have to go through it . And, it may take some time.
September 26th, 2009 at 7:48 am
cancer help
i think right now he mainly needs support. you should talk to him about it and tell him that the same thing happened to his mom… just let him get his feelings out to you and just be a listener and a supporter… that is what he really needs from you. maybe you could take him out for the day and do some fun things that can get your minds off of it and then mainly at lunch or something you could talk to him about it.
September 29th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
cancer help
Just be there for him that is what he needs most right now. Tell him that it’s ok to cry and let him cry and vent and such to you. I think it would be a great idea to tell him your situation and let him know that you understand what he is going through. Even though you were only 8 and didn’t understand death im sure you still felt the pain of losing your mother and were around your father and possibly other relative and such. Does he know already that your mother passed of cancer? If not i think it could help him a lot to know. Just be sure to let him grieve he has to grieve otherwise it will just eat him up inside even more and that wont be good.
By the way im sorry for both of your losses.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
cancer help
I think you should try to understand that person. And give them your full attention. Also you should just give that person some time for their emotional scars heel.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
cancer help
YES YOU SHOULD BUT DONT OFFER ADVICE ABOUT WHAT HE SHOULD DO NEXT , JUST OFFER HIM HELP IF HE NEEDS IT .
October 3rd, 2009 at 9:51 pm
cancer help
All you have to do is listen. And be sincere when you listen. Let him know that you are there for him, let him though that ANY time he wants to talk that he can call you, even if it’s 4 in the morning. Let him know that you feel for him and that you care like crazy.
October 5th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Tina,
Never tell someone you know what they are going through!!!
I learned that long ago. I have lost my father, a sister, and a brother to cancer. It was my loss and no one else knows how i felt. Just talk to him and share experiences
October 6th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
cancer help
The important thing is to allow him to talk to you about his mother and what he is feeling everyday. Give him a hug and maybe say, This must be very hard for you to lose your mother. I feel bad for you and I wish I could ease your pain. What are the things you miss about her?. Just be there for him when you can and just listen to him talk about his mother. It may take him a year or even two years to grieve. I think that it is wonderful that you have such compassion for your friend. I am sure that you do understand what it means to lose a mother since you lost yours, but first encourage him to talk about his feelings before you tell him that you understand what he is going through. Let him tell you in his own words what he is going through because it could be a little different for him. You are a great friend and he is fortunate to have you as his friend.